


Rituals

by rexluscus



Category: Pet Shop of Horrors
Genre: Couch Sex, Established Relationship, Leon's shitty apartment, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-21
Updated: 2012-12-21
Packaged: 2017-11-21 21:41:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/602362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rexluscus/pseuds/rexluscus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Relationships are occasionally about doing things you don't get just to make the other person happy, right? Count D definitely does not <i>get</i> what Leon is asking him to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rituals

**Author's Note:**

  * For [khilari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/khilari/gifts).



> This could be either AU or indeterminately post-series.

Count D stepped cautiously inside the apartment, as if concerned about putting his foot in something sticky. Leon called out to him from the couch. "Did you pick up the food?"

D held up the bag of takeout. "I did, though why you insisted on ordering from that filthy place and not from one of the many fine restaurants in Chinatown, I have no idea."

Leon shrugged. "Sometimes I'm in the mood for the cheap stuff. Come on, close the door and get in here."

D set the bag down on the coffee table and surveyed Leon's current state: his ratty jeans, his ancient band shirt, the empty and half-empty bottles of beer already surrounding him. "I see you have begun," he said. "Am I to assume that I am witnessing a ritual?"

"Exactly," said Leon, wrapping an arm around D's waist and reeling him in. "I put up with _your_ rituals all the time. Now you get to check out mine."

"A ritual of cheap Chinese takeout, poor-quality beer, slovenly clothes, and television." D nodded at the widescreen TV, an object far too large and expensive for Leon's apartment. "Must this ritual necessarily include car racing?"

"Nah," grinned Leon. "College basketball works too."

 

When they'd finished eating (directly from the containers; Leon was insistent about this) Leon shifted the mess onto the coffee table and pulled D half into his lap. D put up a short resistance, then succumbed with a skeptical frown. It was the same look he got whenever Leon attempted anything that wasn't D's idea.

"Oh come on," said Leon, pushing D's fine black hair aside to bare his neck. "Don't give me that 'Explain to me your strange Earth customs' face." 

D squirmed as Leon kissed his neck. "First you suggest watching television instead of making love. I do not understand but I acquiesce. Now that we are watching television, it seems you want to make love after all. I'm simply trying to follow the winding path of your whims, Detective. Will you not make up your mind?"

Leon kissed the achingly delicate skin just beneath D's ear and ran his big fat clumsy fingers through D's cool, silky hair. "I _have_ made up my mind. I'm doing exactly what I want."

"Well?" D squirmed again in Leon's grasp. "Shall we not get on with it, then?"

One hand cradling the side of D's head, Leon kissed his way along the underside of D's smooth jaw. "You're missing the point," he murmured. "All I want to do is sit on this sofa and kiss you while trashy TV plays in the background." He paused. "Huh, maybe that _is_ kind of a strange Earth custom." He resumed exploring D's soft skin with his mouth. "You dig?"

"So you _don't_ want to make love."

"Maybe later?" Leon tipped D's head back and pressed his open mouth to D's throat. "I just wanna do this for a while. Make you feel good. Get us kinda hot, but slowly. You know. Haven't you ever heard of people doing this?"

"Hm, yes. _Making out_ in front of the television." D enunciated his disdain. "You humans take a peculiarly atavistic comfort in the light and sounds from that box."

"Mm-hm." Leon unbuttoned D's collar and stroked the hollow of his throat. "Must remind us of being in the womb or something." He caught the scent of D's heated skin. "Oh god, D…"

They kissed deeply and thoroughly, D's nails scratching through Leon's hair. When they parted, slick mouths brushing together, Leon said, "Either that, or it's taking me back to being a teenager, when putting my hand up a girl's shirt on her parents' couch was the most erotic thing I'd ever done."

"And you wish to insert _me_ into these memories. Odd." D was teasing him now, a smile in his voice. He slipped his hand over Leon's crotch and pulled down the zipper of his jeans. "And did they do this for you, these girls? So very uncertain themselves about how human bodies worked. Did they touch you hesitantly under your clothes while you both pretended to watch some asinine television program?" His cool fingers slid past zipper and boxer shorts to caress Leon's erection, fingernails scratching lightly over his balls.

"Holy shit…" Leon got clumsily to his knees and pulled up the hem of D's skirts, right up over his knees and all the way to the tops of his thighs. "Okay, you win." His brain had checked out and he was one big urge now, just a craving for D's smooth thighs around his hips and D's body taking him in. 

Once they'd finished, Leon collapsed into the couch cushions and pulled D down to lie on top of him. D's funny dress thing had been thrown over the couch back, and Leon ran his hands up and down D's naked sides, drowsy and happy and satisfied. 

"So how'd you like my ritual?" he asked.

D curled against him. "I would prefer to have you inside me when I am not distracted by the sound of a man excitedly narrating the movements of racecars," he said sleepily, "and I enjoy your mouth more when it does not taste of cheap chow mein. Still, it is a happy outcome for me."

Leon wrapped D tightly in his arms. "I'll always make it worth your while," he said. "Just indulge me every now and then."

"I do nothing _but_ indulge you," D murmured, mostly asleep. "My tolerance of your peculiar habits is…heroic…" He gave a soft snore. 

Leon smiled and caressed D's hair. For months, he'd wanted this: D in his arms on his shitty sofa, mocking his taste in television but having sex with him anyway. It was as good as he'd dreamed.


End file.
